Truth be told

My photo
For me, nothing too excess, nothing not enough.Can easily get obsessed toward something but not addicting to anything neither too outgoing or too shy,at times I can be both, depending on my mood, depending on the occasion, moderately introverted I think. I never overdo anything in life. I enjoy my life to the fullest. I also enjoy most of the thing i do. I don't expect much from myself yet am never too disappointed with myself.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

it's been months since I posted something...
I have millions of things to write
but for today I just start by posting my new favourite song.
Enjoy!


"Come Home"
One Republic feat Sara Bareilles

[Verse 1]
Hello world
Hope you're listening
Forgive me if I’m young
For speaking out of turn
There’s someone I’ve been missing
I think that they could be
The better half of me
They’re in the wrong place trying to make it right
But I’m tired of justifying
So i say you’ll..

[Chorus]
Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all i see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
So come home
Oh

[Verse 2]
I get lost in the beauty
Of everything i see
The world ain’t as half as bad
As they paint it to be
If all the sons
If all the daughters
Stopped to take it in
Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin
It might start now..Yeahh
Well maybe I’m just dreaming out loud
Until then

[Chorus]
Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all i see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
Ever known
So come home
Oh

[Interlude]
Everything i can’t be
Is everything you should be
And that’s why i need you here
Everything i can’t be
Is everything you should be
And that’s why i need you here
So hear this now

[Chorus]
Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all i see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
Ever known
So come home
Come home

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Melancholy of Drama

I learned long time ago, to quit when I am ahead, to stop when the line I’d drawn was crossed. Here I am again, repeating the same mistakes I’d made long ago. Only this time, I learned from my mistakes and I quickly pulled myself backward.

I knew my friends would notice the difference too that...
we haven’t been laughing together a lot lately.

Yesterday I sorted out the drama I am facing . The exact drama that both of us should have sorted out long ago, but ego and stupidity got in between of us resulted in DRAMA and more drama.Besides, being me made it almost impossible to avoid dramas.

Since the drama ended yesterday, today's episode is one happy installment. Finally we're able to sit around the table and laughed out loud again.
These friends drama reminds me of Honey and Clover.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

What My Friend Told Me

A friend of mine told me.

If you are mad at someone, think of all the good things that he had done to you

But it hurts even more thinking that...

All the good things you did, they had all gone unappreciated

Monday, March 22, 2010

Between The Devil and The Deep Blue Sea

There are few things i am glad i didn't do before the accident...
a few hours earlier...

It suddenly hit me that I should go and spend some time together with the others at the library.
They were all going by car, so it left me having no choice but to go by motorcycle.

Daus and I, we went early so that we won't be late for our McValue Lunch.

Before going out, I almost wore my Topman pants and cardigan, those are my favorite pieces of clothing that I most adore. Instead I didn't wear them, I chose my SODA pants to go with my favorite Jefferson shirt. I didn't feel like wearing any cardigan today of unknown reason.

Then I grab my shoes and bags, march to Daus's room and went straight to Alor Setar.

I was texting AJ while I was on the motorcycle, I was t the back and Daus at the front.

Then out of nowhere I saw an old man crossing the street without looking back and forth he crossed the street leaving us having no choice but to avoid him... and TAADDDDAAA... the rest is history.

Upon falling i remember looking at the phone, to reply AJ's text. I remember the pain of using my hand to cover up my face from being damaged. I remember saying "DAMN! we're late for McValue Lunch". And I remember feeling glad I didn't wear my Topmans.

Damaged was only minor, to my right hand(the cut is deep, so it'll take a while to heal and stop bleeding).
Some tiny spots above my knees and damaged to my exquisite Springfield bag. And the things inside it were mostly broken.

PS: the title is called Between the devil and the deep blue sea because either my clothes or skin, both are equally bad if they're damaged!




Sunday, March 7, 2010

Sometimes Love Comes Around

I like you… I want you to be my boyfriend…

Oh…ummm…

It took him a while to answer the question prompted to him, no he did not expected those words to be uttered. After all they had only known each other less than a year…
It took him almost a year to answer that one simple question. A year later, they met up, this was the first time they had laid eyes on each other. They had never met before.

Do you still like me?

Umm… I have never stopped loving you.

He had never been in a serious relationship before, never ever in his life.
Love came knocking in front of the door to his heart, bringing him a golden opportunity upon him for once to love and being loved.
Yet, he said… No.

He knew he would be regretting every words he said, but his heart belonged to someone else. Never in his life had he ever met someone that possessed almost everything that he had been looking for with someone to start a relationship with— spectacles, tall, soothing voice, adorable and things that made him happy.

He is too naïve, too childish. He wanted to feel love but he himself failed to understand what love is.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Back to School


Despite what my group-mates or other groups had been saying. I honestly enjoy going back to school, this time not as a student but as a teacher (well not really a teacher but teacher-in-the-making to be exact).

Assalamualaikum Cikgu…

That was like the proudest thing for me to listen to.

I did feel a little bit guilty toward my other group-mates because I am the one who really wanted and insisted on coming to this school. Its an all girls school, an elite cluster school, in short it was one hell of a good school.

The reason I kinda like insisted on coming were that, yeah I too wanna feel being in a good school. I had spent almost all of my school-years going to 'bad' school or I too wanna feel being in a single sex school.

I was very excited! Hello school!

This was my first time sitting among the other experienced teachers in the assembly, I sat on the second front row while nervously pretending that I am too a teacher there. You just don't know how I it felt when we received a very warm welcome from the school with a loud round of applause.

Yeah! I did get teased by the teachers and even the principal for being a young(hunky) male teacher in a sea of girls there!

Sitting on the stage observing the students from up there, it very much reminded me of myself few years back in school. I said to myself

Hei! I used to speak like they did while the teachers were giving their speeches up front. Did the teachers used looked at me the same way I looked at these students( from up there I can see every students-speaking,playing and ebven those who yawned)

Funny how I had forgotten how fun school was for me, or how bored and happy it used to feel being at school few years back. I love schools.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Tomodachi

The best thing about holiday was that, it was the perfect time for everyone to get together. Well, since I am now officially living in the HOTTEST state in Malaysia (as stated in the news), we had to lepak-lepak during the night ONLY. Yeah it was 30 degree something out there! The heat could burn you to death, its hell out there!

It’s good that we had the chance to get together again, I don’t really have lot of chance hanging out with them, even if I had the time, they didn’t. Everyone’s busy with their own life, the last time we get to hang out like this was way back last year at Milo’s house—if I am not mistaken.

I’d known Milo for more than 10 years now; she is currently studying in Selangor— striving to become a nurse. Funny knowing it, after all she’s not the girly type of girl.


I went out as early as 8 to her house, only to know that the boys will only be there around 9. I don't know what the heck am I rushing for? So I suggested we went to The Store first, instead of just pointlessly waiting there at her house. After all, I am in desperate need to find myself new CDs. I know that I could have only downloaded the thing online, but I am bad with technologies—really bad!

I bought a self-titled album from The Script, it’s an old album and I never really like them though they had been in the industry for quite a while. After listening to some of their songs, well they were quite nice actually, I am a fan! Then we went down and Milo treated me a sundae cone and damn I heart sundae!

Around 8.45 we went to the Kedai Char Koew Teow to meet the boys. It took about an hour for them to arrive, but time went by unnoticed as Milo and I had gazillions of thing to talk about.

from left Ikram, Li, me, Amzar and Arif

The thing about that night was that there were fireworks in the sky, dunno where they from but they were surely gorgeous—been a while since I last enjoyed fireworks that close, what a happy day! It’s sad that Din and Fifi couldn’t make it that night, it would had been even gempak if they were.

Milo and Ikram

Ikram and Jazli, love thier konon-konon indie-styled hair

The next day, Milo and I went all the way to Padang Besar as she needed to buy her friend a teddy bear. It’s cheap over there but the quality was really awful, I really don’t suggest anyone buying things there.

Of course we took our time sightseeing around Perlis before heading home. Perlis is a small state, very small. It took us only a while to go to Kangar. We went to kill some time—what we did was simply sitting around chit chatting while having air kelapa and rojak. There’s not much of a thing that you can do in Perlis, we barely had a shopping complex, Cinema? Bowling center? Don’t mention about it. Enough say, the people there enjoy a simple traditional and conservative life. Which I am used to and looking forward to end it soon hahaha!

the pic was awful since there was no one to snap it for us, but the view is nice though


Gosh I love holiday! More please!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

i just wanna be...

At the age of almost 20, he finally figured out what he wanted to do with his life. All the while he had been blessed with fortunate lucks—good fortune and lady luck was always by his side. Yet, of course things happened every now and then but those were minor things that he’ll end up forgetting the next day. Everything had been going so well lately, he couldn’t be more glad than he already was.

At the age of almost 20, he finally figured out what he wanted to do with his life—he just wanna be…happy.


So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
Cause i'm just trying to be happy
Just wanna be happy

"happy"
by Leona Lewis

Monday, February 8, 2010

The Choice

Aku tengok Kris jap td….ensemmmmmmm!

Huh? Kat mana? And don’t tell me yg ko tngk kat dalam cermin (cause he thinks he looks Kris Allen)

Midvalley la…haha…

What!

Yeaps2… tengok dari jauh je tp sumpah hensem!

Kuno giler aku… dia datang Malaysia pon aku xtao!

Wish I could be there…

Yaaaah... That would’ve been funnn… haha…

Haha… what to do… Ur choice oh…

AJ! Don’t say that! Ko wat mcm aku made a wrong choice

Haha… Memang! U should’ve have been here! Tapi tapi tapi tapi Ko da jauh… huhu…



I missed the life I once had… the choice I made…it’s my choice...

Friday, January 29, 2010

There Has Been Death In The Opposite Room

I noticed people had been coming in and out of that room. People had been filling in that room since morning. I wonder why.

The room is in the other building across my room. Every day I stared at that room throughout my window, it was always empty. Whoever lived in it was rarely there I guess.
This morning there was an announcement in the hostel, saying something about one of our student had passed away. It didn’t hit me much, not until I discovered he lived just across my room. The room that was always empty as “he lived alone” they said.

That night, friends and classmate were lending their hands cleaning his room. I watched through my windows. Contemplating alone on what a lousy neighbor I had been this whole 2 years, I’d been here for freaking 2 years and yet I never noticed who and what was in that room—or the other rooms across my mine. Around eleven, a friend of him closed the windows, one by one, with the others waiting outside of his room.

It was a windy night and the moon shines bright, it was a gloomy night and some were sad. I watched a friend turned off the light, he closed the door, with prayers he walked away.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Dream


In my dream, I saw a boy years from now. By the way he looks, he has everything he could ever wish for, a perfect life, good friends, a comfy place to live, a person to share his life with and most importantly his dream job. He didn’t make much out of his job but just barely enough to fulfill his needs—clothes, foods and social tickets. He makes a living from arts, like music, fashion, photography or creative designs. It has always been his lifelong ambition to someday become one of those who creates arts piece of arts that everyone appreciates. Finally he is able fulfill his dreams and ambition, he never be more contended.

I dream of him a lot.


Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The Poker and The Joker Face

I couldn’t sleep last night. I don’t know why, maybe it’s due to the fact that I slept half a day yesterday. Despite turning to bed early that was somewhere around 12.30, I can’t seem to fell asleep at all. Usually I find it easy for me to sleep but not today. I close my eyes still couldn’t fell asleep. It is frustrating knowing that tomorrow you have classes from 8am to 5pm and you aren’t able to have a proper rest.

Soon, I found myself, rolling back and forth on the bed, with eyes wide open and full of frustration. I am the type of person that had to have my beauty sleep and I found myself feeling depressed whenever I didn’t have some. While staring aimlessly to the ceiling, the clock struck 1.30am and I am still awake. Then, Rick and Mirul walked into the room, they were merrily chit-chatting till 2.30am. FOR GOD SAKE people, someone was trying to get his freaking sleep here!

I was too fed up to even stay in the room anymore, I texted Ain to see whether he’s still awake or not and as expected, the night was still young for him. I went down to his room…well it’s the only place I can (at the very least) entertained myself. This was not the first time I been there in the middle of the night, I always went there simply talking nonsense and committing more sins (we were never tired of badmouthing others).

Azril and Zac were also there. Zac was playing PES and Azril was absolutely clueless, by the way he looked, I know he was damn sleepy at that time. I got in and Ain was listening to his tacky songs and karaoke-ing along the songs…it was a nightmare! Not to bother him I turned to Azril as he was so excited to show me something. You may not know this, but the boys are actually far that what they usually portray, acting up all macho and hunky…they are way different!

Azril showed me a stupid magic trick, YEAH! A lame magic that doesn’t even deserve to be called magic. To make it worse, he had to at least repeated the trick twice to make it right. I laugh my heart out seeing him dreadfully trying to figure out what went wrong with the trick! OH yeah, I did requested for more tricks, it was AWESOMELY fun (I just need to have more).

After that, they clumsily kept making my sleepless night more pleasant. After a while, they all dozed off leaving me alone trying to convince them to stay awake and keeping me company. After a while, I found myself sleeping there till I don’t know what time and crawled back to my room.

That morning, I woke up late, with swollen eyes and looking all messed up! Lessons learnt… don’t fuck-up your sleeping schedule…