Sepi

I can’t contemplate on what it feels like to be alone; I just know I don’t like it.

Truth be told, I don’t like being all alone. I am always with my friends—well at least a friend. There’s something about being alone that has always make me feel insecure about myself. Despite the attention that I get from the people around me, I still am all alone. I know that it was not the fault of anyone, it even has nothing to do with those who I called friends. IT’S SIMPLY MY FAULT.

At times I can be a little bit demanding. A little bit annoying to them. A little bit rude to them. I blame friendship for that. Friendship kept someone close to the other, but it is hard when you are too close to them. Too close to them up to the point that you demand them to understand you where as you yourself don’t understand yourself. I hate friendship for keeping me closed t someone (in particular), I hate friendship for it will hurt me, and I hate friendship for I need it.

Today I learned something that I have already knew, despite knowing it will (still) hurt me, yet why do I keep being in denial?.. Course that’s me…always denying and avoiding problems.

Though you are always with them, always together, inseparable in the eyes of others. That doesn’t mean you are closed to them. And I thought I was a closed friend. Silly isn’t it? How would you feel if it were you? Am I a friend? Sorry for being demanding… Just what am I?

Forgive me for being stupid to believe in the proverb ‘A friend in need is a friend indeed’. Friends share problem—not all of them...but they DID. Friends don’t hurt others; even if they did they seek for forgiveness. A friend is more than just ‘a friend’ …there’s more to it…more to it…